Dumpster Diving

As noted in my previous post, I am more than a little spacey these days, but the events that transpired this afternoon redefine “spacey” entirely.

I am a person who thrives on routine. I haven’t always been this way; I was beyond impulsive up until a few years ago. I’d even venture to say reckless. When I reflect back on my twenties, it is no exaggeration when I recognize that I am lucky to be alive. Okay, so that may be a tad dramatic, but still.

You see, I am a Virgo. Growing up I would scoff at the descriptions I read of the Virgo personality. Clean freak? Um, no. Punctual? Maybe on a good day. Quiet? Not this girl.

But something changed in my late twenties. All of the sudden, I craved organization and order. I grew cautious and practical. I suddenly loathed the spotlight.

I saw this magnet a few months ago and had to laugh.


I personally do not find myself bitchy (other than occasionally) or annoying (though others may disagree?), and I am still not very sure of what shrewd means despite Googling it, but the rest fits me to a T.

Thankfully I found the counterpart to the above magnet online tonight.


It made me feel *slightly* better about myself, at least.

The point of this rather long astrological analysis is that I have a daily routine, and today… Well, things went a bit awry.

I leave work every day around 3:30. Sounds great, right? I also wake up at five in the morning and am required to teach children things as early as 7:30 a.m. That my friends is the opposite of great.

Tuesdays and Thursdays are my days to ship LWO orders. When I get home from work, I prepare the boxes and head directly to the post office before picking up Jack from his in-home daycare. And because the Virgo in me despises clutter and our recycling bin is perpetually full, I often bring the boxes our inventory arrives in along with me to dump in a few select dumpsters along the way.

And yes, I am aware that this behavior is frowned upon (illegal?). I am banking on my “sexy as hell” factor (the magnet says it so it must be true) to serve as my get out of jail free card.

After hitting one of my favorite dumpsters, I opened the sun roof and cruised over to the neighborhood post office. It was a gorgeous day in the A-Tex today, and I was feeling good. When I popped the trunk to unload the goods however, my stomach dropped and panic set in.

Holy crap. I threw one of our shipments into the dumpster. Six boxes of formula and a shipping label thirty minutes shy of its expiration right down the drain. Ughhh.

Thankfully, I am an industrious Virgo who does not give up without a fight- Unless of course we are talking about diets. Then all bets are off.

Without hesitation, I returned to the scene of the crime. I scaled the the side of the dumpster.






It was only slightly awkward when a resident at the apartment complex visited the dumpster to toss her jumbo trash bags in.

After a solid minute of digging, I had a rather unfortunate realization…

All of our shipments were in fact in my car trunk, right where they belonged. “Baby-brain” had reared its ugly head once more. And because I am an efficient Virgo, I managed to climb my way out of the trash, dust my self off, and feign dignity long enough to ship the orders by closing time.

Now that is what I call dedication. Thank God I am a Virgo, because quite frankly, I don’t think a Pisces could’ve handle it…

Only kidding.

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